Oh crap. I'm old.

Sweet Jesus. I just made the mistake of looking at the Top 100 songs on the iTunes store. I really try to be open-minded about music and not be a snob, because I've owned plenty of questionable music in my day (anyone remember Ray Parker, Jr.?), but this list is just a big steaming pile of crap. I found 11 songs out of the 100 that I can bear to listen to, but everything else just sounds horrible. So, am I losing it, or is it just that the average iTunes customer is a teenager cursed with horrible taste? I think I feel bad for the kids.

(Songs in bold are the ones I own)

1. Breaking Free, Gabriela & Troy, High School Musical (Soundtrack)
2. Check On It, Beyoncé & Slim Thug, #1's
3. Unwritten, Natasha Bedingfield, Unwritten
4. Get'cha Head In the Game, Troy, High School Musical (Soundtrack)
5. Grillz (Dirty), Nelly featuring Paul Wall, Ali & Gipp, Sweatsuit (Explicit Version)
6. Start of Something New, Gabriella & Troy, High School Musical (Soundtrack)
7. Dirty Little Secret, The All-American Rejects, Move Along
8. We're All In This Together, High School Musical Cast, High School Musical (Soundtrack)
9. L.O.V.E., Ashlee Simpson, I Am Me
10. Dance, Dance, Fall Out Boy, From Under the Cork Tree
11. What I've Been Looking for, Ryan & Sharpay, High School Musical (Soundtrack)
12. Stick to the Status Quo, Martha Cox, Ryan, Sharpay & Zach, High School Musical (Soundtrack)
13. We Belong Together, Gavin DeGraw, We Belong Together - Single
14. I'm N Luv (Wit a Stripper), T-Pain & Mike Jones, Rappa Ternt Sanga
15. Photograph, Nickelback, All the Right Reasons
16. Temperature, Sean Paul, The Trinity
17. You're Beautiful, James Blunt, Back to Bedlam
18. Stickwitu, The Pussycat Dolls, PCD
19. Shake That, Eminem, Curtain Call
20. Laffy Taffy, D4L, Laffy Taffy - Single
21. Everytime We Touch (Radio Mix), Cascada, Everytime We Touch
22. Run It! (Featuring Juelz Santana), Chris Brown, Chris Brown
23. Bop to the Top, Ryan & Sharpay, High School Musical (Soundtrack)
24. What I've Been Looking for (Reprise), Gabriella & Troy, High School Musical (Soundtrack)
25. Pump It, Black Eyed Peas, Monkey Business
26. When There Was Me and You, Gabriella, High School Musical (Soundtrack)
27. Gold Digger (Featuring Jamie Foxx), Kanye West, Late Registration
28. Yo (Excuse Me Miss), Chris Brown, Chris Brown
29. My Humps, Black Eyed Peas, Monkey Business
30. Sugar, We're Goin Down, Fall Out Boy, From Under the Cork Tree
31. Upside Down, Jack Johnson, Sing-A-Longs and Lullabies for the Film Curious George
32. Lights and Sounds, Yellowcard, Lights and Sounds - Single
33. Perfect Situation, Weezer, Make Believe
34. Beverly Hills, Weezer, Make Believe
35. Honky Tonk Badonkadonk, Trace Adkins, Songs About Me
36. There It Go (The Whistle Song), Juelz Santana, What the Game's Been Missing!
37. Grillz (Clean Version), Ali & Big Gipp, Nelly & Paul Wall, Sweatsuit
38. Goodbye For Now (Radio Edit), P.O.D., Goodbye For Now
39. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been, Relient K, Mmhmm
40. Feel Good Inc., Gorillaz, Demon Days
41. 100 Years, Five for Fighting, The Battle for Everything
42. Don't Cha, The Pussycat Dolls, PCD
43. Because of You, Kelly Clarkson, Breakaway
44. Jesus, Take the Wheel, Carrie Underwood, Jesus, Take the Wheel - Single
45. You're Beautiful, James Blunt, Back to Bedlam
46. When I'm Gone (Explicit Version), Eminem, When I'm Gone - Single
47. Better Days, Goo Goo Dolls, Better Days - Single
48. Boyfriend, Ashlee Simpson, I Am Me Pop
49. Yeah!, Usher featuring Lil' Jon & Ludacris, Confessions (Special Edition)
50. You and Me, Lifehouse, Lifehouse
51. Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It (Explicit Version), Dem Franchize Boyz Featuring Peenut & Charlay, Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It (Explicit Version) - Single
52. Since U Been Gone, Kelly Clarkson, Breakaway
53. Mr. Brightside, The Killers, Hot Fuss
54. Fireman, Lil' Wayne, Tha Carter II
55. Move Along, The All-American Rejects, Move Along
56. These Words (I Love You, I Love You) [Manny Marroquin Mix], Natasha Bedingfield, Unwritten
57. Stay Fly, Three 6 Mafia featuring Young Buck & Eightball & M.J.G., Most Known Unknown
58. Rompe (Explicit), Daddy Yankee, Barrio Fino en Directo (Explicit Version)
59. Fresh AZIMIZ, Bow Wow, J-Kwon & Jermaine Dupri, Wanted
60. Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani, Love, Angel, Music, Baby
61. One Wish, Ray J, Raydiation
62. Unpredictable (Main), Jamie Foxx & Ludacris, Unpredictable
63. We Be Burnin' (Legalize It - Album Version), Sean Paul, We Be Burnin'
64. Don't Forget About Us (Radio), Mariah Carey, Don't Forget About Us - Single
65. Soul Survivor, Young Jeezy & Akon, Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101
66. Chariot, Gavin DeGraw, Chariot
67. Boondocks, Little Big Town, The Road to Here
68. Hung Up, Madonna, Confessions On a Dance Floor
69. Gold Digger, Kanye West & Jamie Foxx, Late Registration
70. Georgia (Explicit), Field Mob, Jamie Foxx & Ludacris, Ludacris Presents...Disturbing Tha Peace
71. Heard 'Em Say (Featuring Adam Levine), Kanye West, Late Registration
72. Turn It Up (Explicit Version), Chamillionaire, The Sound of Revenge (Explicit Version)
73. King Without a Crown, Matisyahu, Live At Stubb's
74. Bat Country, Avenged Sevenfold, City of Evil
75. Soul Meets Body, Death Cab For Cutie, Plans
76. Be Without You (Kendu Mix), Mary J. Blige, The Breakthrough
77. If It's Lovin' That You Want, Rihanna, Music of the Sun
78. Collide, Howie Day, Stop All the World Now
79. Walk Away, Kelly Clarkson, Breakaway
80. I'm Sprung, T-Pain, I'm Sprung - Single
81. Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Green Day, Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Single
82. Just the Girl, The Click Five, Just the Girl - Single
83. When I Get Where I'm Going, Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton, Time Well Wasted
84. Kerosene, Miranda Lambert, Kerosene
85. Behind These Hazel Eyes, Kelly Clarkson, Breakaway
86. In da Club, 50 Cent, Get Rich or Die Tryin'
87. Laffy Taffy (Explicit Album Version), D4L, Down for Life
88. One, Two Step, Ciara featuring Missy Elliot, Goodies
89. Must Be Doin' Somethin' Right, Billy Currington, Doin' Somethin' Right
90. The W.A.N.D., The Flaming Lips, The W.A.N.D. - Single
91. Someday, Nickelback, The Long Road
92. There It Go! (The Whistle Song) [Radio Edit], Juelz Santana, There It Go! (The Whistle Song) - Single
93. Live Like You Were Dying, Tim McGraw, Live Like You Were Dying
94. Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts, Feels Like Today
95. Beep, The Pussycat Dolls, PCD
96. Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off, Joe Nichols, III
97. Wake Me Up When September Ends, Green Day, American Idiot
98. Switch, Will Smith, Switch - Single
99. Have a Nice Day, Bon Jovi, Have a Nice Day
100. Let's Get It Started (Spike Mix) [Bonus Track], Black Eyed Peas, Elephunk

And as long as I'm complaining, I think it's time for iTunes to rethink how they categorize their songs. There is not a single thing "Alternative" about Fall-Out Boy. There's not even really anything "Alternative" about Green Day anymore, either.