Festivus (for the rest of us)

Summer approaches, and that means summer music festivals. I’ve got several options to choose from this year. I can stay nearby for the return of the Monolith Music Festival at Red Rocks (which was a great success, for me anyway, in its inaugural year but has yet to announce a lineup for this year) or the new, well-intentioned but somewhat mish-mash Mile High Music Festival at DSG Park. If I feel like traveling (which seems likely, since Radiohead has decided not to play a solo show anywhere within 1,000 miles of Denver), there’s the pretty spectacular lineup of this year’s Lollapalooza in Chi-town.

But as fun as festivals are, they also have their drawbacks. Weather (hot or wet), overpriced food and beverages, and general music fatigue from watching 30 or 40 bands over 2 or 3 days can sometimes make festivals a trying experience, not to mention the high prices promotoers can charge for gathering so many artists in one place. So to avoid all that, I decided that this year, I’m flipping the script and putting together a summer music festival the way I want it. To start, I’ve worked with different concert promoters to spread the bands out so that this is truly a “summer” festival. None of this BS 3-day nonsense. This puppy lasts four months (from May to September). By spacing the artists out this way, I avoid music overload, but get the privilege of paying the ridiculous food and beer prices on multiple occasions, not to mention getting to see a good number of the more disgusting bathrooms in the Mile High City. Plus, as an added benefit, this setup lets me give Ticketmaster a lot more of my money. And trust me, there’s nothing I enjoy more than paying an extra 50% on top of the ticket price in “convenience fees,” “venue fees,” “sales tax,” and whatever other bullshit those greedy bastards have come up with so that their fat fucking pig of a CEO doesn’t miss out on his $12 million bonus check this year.

Aaaaaanyway... I’ll be announcing more acts as they come along, but so far, I’m pretty excited about my lineup. (Confirmed means I have tickets, unconfirmed means I’m still debating.)

April 28: The Raconteurs @ The Fillmore Auditorium (I’m considering this a pre-festival warmup show—Unconfirmed)
May 2: Elbow @ The Bluebird Theater (Confirmed)
May 16: Margot & The Nuclear So and So’s @ The Larimer Lounge (C)
May 20: Sea Wolf @ The Bluebird (U)
May 29: The Kooks @ The Ogden (U
June 2: The Roots @ The Fillmore (U)
June 3: R.E.M./Modest Mouse/The National @ Red Rocks (C)
June 5: Rush @ Red Rocks (U)
June 14: Drive-By Truckers @ Westword Music Showcase (U)
June 21: Robert Plant & Alison Krauss @ Red Rocks (U)
July 21/22: The Police/Elvis Costello @ Red Rocks (U)

So far, so good. Rock ’n’ roll will never die. It just gets more expensive.